The Good and Bad of Video Therapy

There are many benefits to video- or distance-therapies, but also some drawbacks. This article discusses a few.

The Good

Video-based philosophical counseling solves several practical problems for both the philosopher and the dialog partner:

• No need for an expensive physical office. It is nice to have a quiet, private office, but the reality is that these are quite expensive. When a client pays for counseling, he is not only paying for the counselor's time, but all of the other costs associated with the service. Video-based meetings avoid such costs.

• No need to travel, find parking, etc. The client does have to pay for gas, find parking and deal with all of the hassle associated with a physical office visit, saving a lot of time (and often some frustration).

• Allows for limited visual communication. Some researchers suggest that the majority of our communication is non-verbal. Indeed, some modes of psychotherapy are based primarily upon discerning and interpreting non-verbal cues almost exclusively. Though this isn't critical for philosophical counseling, seeing the dialog-partner's face is an important part of the relationship and dialog. An in person meeting is better in this regard, but video is better than telephone, e-mail, and such.

• Diminishes the chance of dual relationships. It is difficult to have a productive therapy relationship with someone if you also have another relationship with them; family, friend, student, employee, etc. The client often discloses things to a therapist that could substantially complicate these other relationships. This is less an issue in philosophical counseling, where our realm is ideas and the relationship is not so much one of therapist to patient but a friendly discussion among equals. However, the reality remains that it can complicate or be complicated by another relational dimension dimension between the participants. Video discussions don't really avoid this issue, except that it allows you to easily choose a discussion partner with whom you have no other relationship, and likely never will. That is, you can select a philosophical counselor in another town, state, country or continent!

The Bad

Video communications are better than many other modes of communication (or none at all), but there are also difficulties:

• Technology Confusion. Some people find the technology confusing or lack the necessary equipment. These days, however, most computers and almost all smart phones come equipped with cameras, microphones and software necessary to video-chat.

• No private office. This is also listed, above, as a good thing, but sometimes it is helpful for the client to be able to get away from noise and distraction in his or her home to talk. In my own home it can be hard to find a quiet corner to work, think, or just have some uninterrupted rest.

• Bad Connections. Connection quality can vary substantially, and sometimes be a distraction to the conversation. Sometimes just a phone conversation is better -- less distracting -- than a bad video connection.

• Disconnects. It can be upsetting to the client to be disconnected without notice. Participants should be aware that we will never deliberately disconnect from them except in the event of an emergency or if they have become abusive. Apart from that, any disconnect was just a technical problem and we can usually reconnect in a few seconds.

• "My eyes are up here." We like to look at people -- usually their face or eyes -- when they are talking. There are sometimes some cultural differences here (or so I'm told), but in my experience most people seem to associate eye-contact with attentive listening. However, due to the location of the camera on most devices, it often appears that we are looking slightly downward. (We try to remember to look at the camera, and not the picture.) To address this we actually hand-made a special teleprompter-like camera setup to solve this problem and create a better experience for the client.

My Approach to Philosophical Counseling

The Rational Animal

Human beings -- and that probably includes you -- have an amazing, innate capacity for rationality. That is, we are naturally capable or have a potential to believe, respond, feel, think and behave in ways that are ordered to some kind of beneficial and objective norm. But this capacity varies from person to person, and the degree to which we actually are rational depends on many factors; age, stress, health, learning, relationships, etc.

When we look back at what we have believed, how we have responded to events, and some of the actions we have chosen or words we have said, it becomes apparent to us that, even though we did what seemed right to us at the time, sometimes we made mistakes. We were confused, distracted, or just weren't feeling and thinking right. We've all done it. Sometimes this is our fault, and sometimes it is not.

Similar to the person who drinks too much and then drives, it is our fault when we make choices that undermine our ability to reason. However, it isn't our fault when we are conditioned by our culture, to a large degree, to not think rationally, or to accept and cooperate with falsehoods and immorality. These situations are in conflict with human flourishing, they prevent us from becoming the beautiful people that we can be. We experience these obstacles routinely, and we feel those conflicts very deeply, even though we sometimes don't understand why. Part of the reason is that, though we have this wonderful capacity to be rational, we haven't been taught or trained in how to make that a reality in our lives. It is a little like having the capacity to be an outstanding painter or engineer, but never being taught how to draw or how to do math.

Philosophical counseling assumes this capacity for rationality, and it assumes that rationality and virtue are good things that tend to lead to better outcomes in individual decisions, and a better life overall. The goal of the philosophical counseling meetings is to affirm and remind you of your rationality and virtue -- your very humanity -- and by carefully analyzing an issue that is important to you, help you grow in these areas as well as understanding.

Becoming More Rational

As mentioned previously, rationality is not encouraged by our culture. Our culture tells us what to feel, what to buy, what to believe, but it generally does not help us with respect to fulfilling that important capacity of how to think well. This is where philosophical counseling can help.

It can be terribly difficult to discern our own irrationality from within the context of our own minds (and the boxes created to hold them), especially during the "heat of the moment." And this is frequently the case for us -- even if we are generally functional, or otherwise decent, able people, we often have one or more areas of difficulty, or something that triggers us. A weak area. I know that I have these, and I'm pretty sure that you do too.

Though philosophy doesn't necessarily provide answers, what it does provide (among other things) are rich examples of how to inquire into, think through and better understand complex issues. In philosophical counseling -- at least the way I approach it -- the client and I discuss some issue of importance to the client. My goal in this is to listen and understand the issue as completely as possible. This usually involves asking some questions, but is primarily about listening. Many times, the simple process of explaining an issue to someone who is genuinely listening and trying to understand it helps the person clarify the matter in his own mind, understand it more deeply, and perceive various solutions.

The topic is whatever is important to the client, and usually revolves around some recent event, or maybe a tough decision that the person is trying to work through.

Once I think I have an adequate understanding of the issue, I confirm that with the client. "Let's see if I understand this ...." When it is clear that we both understand the issue as a matter of fact, we then, together, attempt to re-examine it, but from a philosophical perspective. This involves asking questions like:

• Are the circumstances that are affecting me wrong or immoral, or am I in error in some way?
• Is my emotional response to this situation actually rational, or am I blowing things out of proportion?
• What are the various options before me for addressing the issue?
• Which of these best corresponds to right thought? to virtue?
• What can I do, personally, to best resolve this situation?
• What does the situation imply regarding my beliefs and values? Does that correspond to what I really believe or want to believe? What does it mean to me?

Though there may be a need to employ "teaching moments" -- philosophical counseling frequently involves some kind of advising -- for the most part my attempt is to help the person find his own solutions and answer to these and related questions. There are several reasons for this, perhaps the most important of which is that someone is much more likely to pursue a choice that he has discerned and makes sense to him than one that is proposed by a stranger.

Which Rationality?

Those familiar with philosophy will immediately (and rightly) be suspicious of general, sweeping claims regarding rationality. With respect to my own practice, I believe that Aristotle, Kant, Bentham and J.S. Mill provided outstanding insights into moral philosophy, and my own practice is to (attempt to) harmonize their positions. This was, in fact, the topic of my master's thesis in philosophy. What this means to the reader is that, when we discuss a moral issue, we look at how it is virtuous (or not), how it is consistent with a good will, and how it tends toward societal good. We attempt to look at things for what they are, in and of themselves, and bring our beliefs in line therewith.

To some degree I also employ (and am certified in) "Logic Based Counseling," which is a contemporary adaptation of Relational Emotive Behavioral Therapy that engages philosophy as its primary content. This can help many people, and primarily addresses the emotional response portion of the human act. This is an important part of the human experience, but it is only a part.

Finally, I also hold a master's degree in theology, and am Catholic. To that end I can engage in what is often referred to as "pastoral counseling," but prefer to stick to philosophical counseling, as that is the area where people seem to need the most assistance. However, unlike most academic philosophers, I am coming from a theistic perspective, and in relation to that I believe that every human life is a precious gift. Your life matters!

Limits

Not all circumstances are best addressed by philosophical counseling (though surprisingly-many are). Specifically, if the client is not manifesting a minimal foundation of rationality upon which to build, philosophical counseling alone will generally not help. Such clients need other, specialized intervention first -- perhaps psychotherapy, medicine, or some other approach -- to help them get to a place where they can be rational. Only then can philosophical counseling help them increase in rationality and move forward.

An Analogy

All of this talk about rationality, capacities and such can be confusing. One way to think of it is to consider simply how much weight a person can lift.

We are limited. At any given moment, a person can only lift so much weight. Most have a capacity to lift more, perhaps much more with some training, improved diet, exercise, etc. But sometimes life puts so much weight on us at this moment that the burden feels really, really heavy -- maybe more than we think we can bear. However, unless there are some really serious issues involved, we can usually bear more, deal with more, handle more, than we think. With the right technique and and a little coaching, that weight which we perceived as crushing suddenly seems light. We often find that the weight upon us is really quite easy to carry, if we can only learn the right techniques to lift it. If we use the wrong technique, or attempt too much at once, it can lead to failure or injury.

This is where philosophical counseling can be of some assistance. It can help a person increase his ability to engage life's burdens, choices and challenges in a rational way. This doesn't necessarily guarantee success, happiness or riches, but it can bring about greater understanding and peace.

A Typical Series

Most issues can be worked through in two to six sessions of roughly 20-50 minutes each (some people prefer longer discussion sessions, which is fine, as complex issues often benefit from a longer uninterrupted time). Though each situation is unique, we attempt to follow these steps over the arc of the sessions:

1. Welcome, explanation of the process, etc.
2. Listening and Discussion
3. Confirmation of Understanding
4. Philosophical Analysis and Discussion
5. Suggestions for Resolution
6. "Homework"
7. Follow-Up

Most of these steps are self-explanatory. The "homework" step is for those issues in which some kind of personal activity -- reading, journaling, interaction, etc. -- is agreed to for the purpose of personal development.

Our goal is not to make you dependent upon the meetings or for them to go on without end, but to help you work through the current issue, grow in rationality and virtue in the process, and move forward in life.