How Can Philosophical Counseling Help Me?

The goal of philosophical counseling is to help the person grow in understanding (or wisdom, if you prefer), both with respect to a specific issue and in general. For example, Jim wanted to talk about a frustration in his work -- the sense that he is not appreciated. The purpose of our discussion is to grow in understanding regarding the situation, and to find ways of discerning meaning and value in his work (and, really, in himself) even if someone else doesn't recognize it. In addition to addressing the current situation, though, we want also to equip Jim with tools that will help him deal with similar situations as the years progress. That is, through listening, discussion, reflection and action, we set about to both address a specific issue and, at the same time, become better equipped to handle future difficulties. In this sense, it is kind of like exercise or fitness conditioning for the mind.

Specifically, there are two areas that philosophical counseling is equipped to address:

• Our emotional response to events and circumstances.
• Our decision making process with respect to practical and moral questions.

Our emotional response to events and circumstances is often rooted in our interior beliefs, values and habits, and how these are complemented or challenged by the circumstances in which we find ourselves. A common, simple event can result in very different emotional states, depending on our beliefs and values. For example, suppose your paycheck is late. Some people might become rather distressed. However, you might handle this "in stride" by just recognizing that, even though it is inconvenient, it isn't the end of the world, and it will probably show up in a day or two. Your emotional response may vary further depending on whether you believe it was simply delayed in the mail, versus the belief that a malignant coworker deliberately intercepted and cashed your check as part of a plot to financially destroy you.

The philosophical counseling process helps us understand the circumstances in a more complete way, as well as our beliefs and values, and how these are interacting and affecting us. Once these are better understood, a person can then make better decisions with respect to the event, how to respond, how to feel, etc. A person might also recognize that his own beliefs, values or habits need to be adjusted, and we can then work together on ways of doing that.

Another common life situation is just having to make a difficult decision (often in response to some event or circumstance). While some decisions seem easy and can be made quickly, others are more complicated and involve competing beliefs, values and goals. Even when a decision is made, there can be difficulty in carrying it out, both as a matter of will, and in terms of practical considerations (e.g., I might lack the will to do what I believe is right, or perhaps I know what the right thing is, but am not sure how to accomplish it, or am worried about the consequences of doing what I think is right). Discussing the issue with a philosopher can help a person clarify his own thinking and understanding, thereby assisting in the current decision as well as future ones.

Some of the practical matters with which a philosopher can help include:

• Interpersonal conflicts
• Career- and life-direction
• Moral dilemmas and ethical questions
• Finding meaning or direction in one's life
• Coping with difficulties, disappointments or loss
• Moderating emotions
• Tough business decisions

In the end, our goal is to help you grow in understanding with regard to (1) the issue before you, (2) your life in particular, and (3) life overall. We do this not by imposing our own beliefs upon you, but by helping you uncover and improve your own gift of rationality, so that you can apply it in various aspects of your life.

How is this done?

The process we employ is an adaptation of the Socratic dialectic. What this means, practically-speaking, is that the philosopher does not explain or impose his own beliefs or philosophy upon the dialog partner. Rather, after listening carefully to the overall situation, the philosopher asks questions that can really only be answered if the dialog partner (client) exercises rationality.

For example, suppose a client has asked to talk about being passed over for a promotion and raise at work. She is angry and frustrated because she has worked for the company for seven years, yet they promoted someone else with less experience. The anger she is feeling is very disruptive to her work, sleep, and free time. Once we both agree that the situation has been fully explained and understood, we step back and look at its meaning, as well as the client's beliefs and values.

This involves asking questions such as (in this case):

• What does your work mean to you?
• Why do you think you deserved the promotion?
• Is not getting promoted a bad thing? How does it harm you?
• Why is this important to you?
• How do you know that the chosen person isn't a better match?
• Are there others who perhaps deserved promotion but did not get it?
• 4 years from now, will this event have really mattered? How so? What about 40 years? 400?
• Many people experience a variety of injustices throughout their lives. How does this compare to others'? (Discuss various examples.)
• Whose decision is it to make? 
• What do you think (or how do you feel) when others make decisions that you believe are wrong, especially if they negatively affect you?
• How does it help you to be feeling so much anger about this event? Is there some way you can direct that emotional energy in a positive, productive way?
• And so on.

In this way, the philosopher is not imposing his views upon the partner, but helping the partner think more deeply about the situation, to exercise his own rationality. This helps him deal with the current situation, as well as develop the ability to deal with future challenges.

In the final analysis, the reality is that people are a lot more likely to pursue solutions that they came up with themselves -- that make sense to them -- than ones that they don't understand and are being proposed from outside. When carefully applied, the Socratic dialectic is a method by which a philosopher can help someone discern the truth and arrive at better solutions to the issues they are facing.